Thank goodness! My perinatologist told us today that my fluid is up from 7 to 11.5! I am so relieved. I really feel like a weight has been lifted off of my heart. He said the baby looks great, so that was the icing on the cake. He said this if proof that I was really just over-doing it. Who, me? Doing too much? Really. I guess MAYBE I was going a little strong...okay, a lot strong. So, at least we know the partial bed rest, from 1pm until bed, works, so that's the plan to be continued. We'll go back in a week and check it again.
I have been such a wreck today that I am absolutely worn out tonight. Not to mention that I just got through freaking out on John. All of this stress, the prospect of making it through this with my sanity intact, making it through this with my children's safety and security intact, can I really do this, will I be able to organize the boy's schedules effectively without making them miserable in the process, trying to be positive and not bitter about being stuck on the couch all day during the busiest time of the year (also normally my favorite!)...this, that, the other. I snapped a bit ago and unleashed some crap that really had more to do with me than it did John at all, but he's the one here...now on top of everything else, I have to figure out how to apologize for being a bitch. I think I'll shower and pray for a while before trying to talk to him. I hope I can find some kind of peace for myself. Forty two days doesn't sound like a long time, but right now I'm just not sure how I'm going to make it and still have any friends or family left who don't hate me.
Six Years
10 years ago
1 comment:
I'm glad that you're doing better. Sometimes it is hard when you are stressed not to lash out at your hubby. They are around you the most and you tend to take all of your frustrations and ball them up until he says something like, "You gonna eat that?" and you flip your lid at them!! Being pregnant doesn't help the situation either. All you can do is appologize. What I found helpful was I told my hubby that if I said I needed a minute, he would walk away even in mid sentence. This way i could take a few and copose myself and I would approach him when I could carry on a rational conversation. It's not much, but I hope it helps!!
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